4.11.2007

Yes. This Is A Post About the Weather.... Well F*^^% You Too!

A couple of weeks ago, here in Michigan we enjoyed a spate of balmy weather topping out into the 80s. Spring's early arrival triggered the annual en masse exposure of flesh that only a Midwestern campus town can know, and in my own neighborhood small children once more tore around the block on their bikes while their parents gently chatted over fences. People came together to revel in warm and open spaces and to admire one another's bulb gardens.

Except me. I was freaked out. Freaked out by this sudden onset of warmth and clamminess. The lack of appropriate clothes. The realization that my legs still wore their customary winter shag and my feet in serious need of a pedicure (or at least some de-gnarling). And then there is that pressure to Be Outside Enjoying It While You Can. And to Make Sure the Children Get Plenty of Fresh Air.

I am not an Outdoorsy Person. I think you could safely describe me as an Indoorsy Person. When August fades into Fall and that first cold snap hits the air, I love the anticipation of hunkering down and become positively giddy as I sit on the couch and watch my Husband lug in several tons of logs for the fire. I even like it when it gets dark earlier, and we are safely coccooned in our living room enjoying that blaze while I watch endless hours of television and blog and stuff my face knit and do jigsaw puzzles with my son. I'm English. We dig gloomy weather.

But Holy Fuck. I can't take any more of this. I'm sorry already, ok? Days and days of snow and wind and wrestling my boys into padded garments. The daffodils are fucked and my son is asking if this means it's Christmas soon...

37 comments:

Blog Antagonist said...

I didn't know you lived in MI. Or maybe I did and forgot. I'm originally from WI, now in Atl.

It's hard, even after 20 years. I don't like 90 degree temps in February. And I'm afraid that not even your little April surprise is assuaging my homesickness.

Well, if you get tired of the snow, you have a place to bunk in the warm and sunny, and humid and buggy and anitquated bassackwards South.

catherine said...

i got the "is it christmas again?" from my son this morning as well, when we opened the blinds.

even the tots are foncused.

Lindyloo said...

It was a balmy 13C here in Manchester. You know what that means, lots a pasty blue flesh on display.

Peter said...

On the day before Easter, I was dispatched to pick up a ham. There was snow on my car. As I exited the Ham Emporium, I found myself humming "Deck The Halls".

Stupid global climate change.

Bon said...

hearing you, o frozen one. we had one of the coldest winters on record, which made getting out and walking with the baby less than fun. now he's grown out of his snowsuit, and we got two feet of the damn stuff on Easter Sunday. i mean, i know it's Canada but this is ridiculous...

i too am an Indoorsy Person. maybe we should start a club.

Christina said...

Oh yeah, I understand. It's been much of the same here in Ohio. Just after getting out all my warm-weather clothes, it gets cold again and I now have two seasons worth of clothing scattered around my bedroom.

Lawyer Mama said...

Yeah, I've been bitching about the cold here and it's 40 degrees. But it snowed on Easter weekend. It doesn't snow here! WTF?

Denguy said...

Oh, you suckered me but good. I was taken in by the talk until the "But Holy Fuck" part. That killed me, too funny.

mama.smythe said...

I dunno how you do it. I would go homicidal in that kind of weather...

bubandpie said...

See, that's the thing. All this snow and wind and sleet just doesn't GO with the light-until-8:30-because-it's-Daylight-Savings-Time thing. To really enjoy that weather, we have to be turning the lights on at 5:00. The Christmas lights.

Mamma said...

It's getting ridiculous! I need warmth. I'm south of the Mason Dixon line for god's sakes. Why is it still snowing??!!!

slouching mom said...

OK, so I knew we were similar in certain ways, but now I am positively spooked.

I feel so guilty when it's nice outside, and I am supposed to say things like, "Hey, kids, let's go for a walk/hike/bike ride," but all I want to do is stay inside.

Fer crissakes, I grew up in NYC! We don't know from grass (except the other kind)!

Here it's as if spring and winter were reversed. We had spring in Nov-Dec-Jan, and now we're having winter in Mar-Apr. It's An Inconvenient Truth come to life.

Amanda said...

"You ready for it baby? 6 inches to a foot by morning," he tells me in a slow drawl.

"Tell me you're boasting about your manhood. Tell me that's talking dirty, because if this is another Adirondack spring storm I am hauling my ass back to my west coast desert."

Looks like the Adirondacks, and not a frazzled mom, will be getting another spring treat.

Marmite Breath or Nat (Don't call me Natalie). said...

I feel you, dawg. I'm sick of it.

MsPrufrock said...

I didn't think the English actually liked gloomy weather, hence all of the annoying talk of how fantastic Spain is.

I'm like you (or how you used to be?) though, as I much prefer cooler weather and I love when it gets darker earlier. English people think I'm a complete nutjob though.

May nice spring weather be with you shortly.

karrie said...

The daffodils are beyond fucked here too. But then we had such warm weather in late-November in Boston that lilacs started to come into season. Crazy.

It's only raining here, but if you have snow and a second Christmas would make your son happy, I say go get some mark-downed Easter candy,crack open a bottle or two, roast a ham or turkey and deck the halls.

the new girl said...

Word.
Seriously?
Word.

Woman with kids said...

Same here. My tulips are already showing, and we're to get another 12". Yesterday, I was outside without a jacket. Today? I'm wearing snow boots.

Frickin' weather.

Kelly said...

Your son and my daughter must be in cahoots. Our last bout of snow, about three weeks back, my daughter ran through the house yelling, "Santa is coming, Santa is coming!"

Redneck Mommy said...

BWHAHAHA!

I live up near the freaking ARCTIC and we are enjoying blue skies and balmy weather.

Snicker.

Enjoy your snow. I'm going jogging in shorts and a tank.

You still love me, right?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

The weather has been weird lately.

themikestand said...

Best two lines I've read all day:

"I am not an Outdoorsy Person. I think you could safely describe me as an Indoorsy Person."


Seriously, Joy. There's something so golden about it. (Maybe I need coffee?)

I think you'll also agree, my comment will be welcomed far more than my original idea, which was to send you a picture of the balmy day and flat-calm harbour outside my office window.

BlogWhore said...

thanks for jinxing us. because of your aversion to warm weather, that snow that was dumped on us yesterday knocked out our power for nine hours.

now go shave your legs, because the next time the weather hits 70 I don't want you jinxing us again.

Virtualsprite said...

It's just as bad in Wisconsin... and I've had to haul out the four-wheel drive. Yep... Holy fuck indeed.

Jackie said...

Haha. Love the title of this post. My daughter asked me this morning "what season is it again?!" Like I've been trying to trick her into believing it's actually Spring...

Mrs. Chicken said...

I know, right? My mom has been trying to get here for TWO DAYS from NY and damned if she doesn't keep getting delayed and cancelled. And we don't even have any effing snow!

The midwest is an evil, evil land.

doow said...

It's spring here.
Just saying.

Karen said...

it just ain't right

Kevin Charnas said...

Oh god...I'm sorry...I remember those days. I grew up in Ohio and Mom is from Michigan. Ugh.

Try more vodka.

Mom101 said...

I am both an indoorsy person and a winter-hater. I want to be out in the sunshine, but only if it's not too humid, not too hot, not too buggy, and I'm having a skinny day.

flutter said...

Um yeah, it's 412 degrees year round in sunny fucking Arizona.

mamatulip said...

I hear ya. It was colder here on Easter than it was at Christmas.

moodswingingmommy said...

Another "indoor person" here who is sick of being indoors...and more snow coming over the weekend. Enough is enough!

nomotherearth said...

I am sick to death of snowsuits. Sick. To. Death.

Inside the Philosophy Factory said...

I live in Minnesota and love the fall and winter for the same reasons you do.

I'm beginning to think my childhood (backward) version of the Grounhog's Day legend was right... I used to think that if he saw his shadow, that would be good because winter would end in about 6 weeks (the middle of March). If he didn't see his shadow, winter would go on indefinitely... you can see where I might have got that idea, no?

Fairly Odd Mother said...

It is freezing rain here right now and I'm ready to kick some ass. Where is spring? Al Gore, what is going on????

Beaman said...

I'm English too. Please please write about the weather every day!!
Besides, what else is there?