3.07.2007

Thank You, Village People (And did Joy get any sleep last night??? Tune In Here.)

There is nothing quite like hitting "Publish" on an angst-ridden post like yesterday's and within a few minutes receiving comments that make you feel unbelievably better. I can't convey in adequate terms how much your words and support means to me. And last night as we began our nightly rituals I felt bolstered and newly confident.

Even if it was to be a tough night, I worked to remember that "This too shall pass." That if all else fails a glass of wine and escaping to the basement or the front porch can do wonders. That perhaps I am misremembering the transformation of Sunshine Boy as "overnight" through the glossy veneer of hindsight, and that while it takes time, the benefits are well worth it. That we consistently find ways to beat ourselves up, and that we should definitely get over the guilt thing--even if it seems to be what we do best. That this parenting thing is about survival (and whoever makes us feel guilty can suck it.)

Most of all I found that even if we have differing opinion on what each of us would do, and despite stupid claims about Mommy Wars, the ability of this community to buoy you up without judgement is pretty unbelievable and very real.

(sniff)

(yes. I am still a little verklempt and overwrought. but it's not completely about the sleep thing--you guys made me all 'motional--and for an update on what happened last night, read on)

(and if I have not included you in the linky-lurve fest above, please forgive. shit. linky-lurve is labor intensive when you lurve as much as I do).

Ok. Enough pontificating, Joy. We are the wind beneath your wings. We get it. Let's move on.

What happened last night?


Weeeeelll. While I am very much stating up front "who knows what tomorrow brings?" last night, after my husband set up white noise in his room...

(thank you Dysfunctional Housewife and Elizabeth for that suggestion--have to say, my Husband was two steps ahead of us on this one and already assembling machinery when I got home. In fact, Big Boy was, and still is, a white noise junkie. As are we, for that matter. I think our house must sound like a small landing strip in the wee hours)

....Anyway. Baby Boy slept solidly from 6:30 til 1:30. (Score!) Ate at the Breastaurant (Jozet wins a prize for that term). Cried a bit an hour later and then slept until 5pm when he supped again. He was then awake at 6am, to which I said "he must think it's morning!" and swiftly brought him into bed for a nice hour or so of snuggling and snoozing. Of course, after the 5am feeding, I laid there awake for flippin' ages. But at least I did not lay there listening to his cries.

So. While I am not exactly "refreshed" my eyes are not hanging on stalks like they were yesterday. And if someone asks me how I am, I am not liable to burst into tears and give them waaaay too much information about the minutiae of my night.

So that's good.

I am pleased to report that Husband and I have resumed being nice to one another as opposed to 2am bitch sessions over who's snoring, who's freaking the fuck out, who's got to get a grip, etc etc. (fyi. I only snore very delicately. I am more of a drooler than a snorer)(slurp).

Like I say. It's not like it's all over and we've got a well-adjusted sleeper on our hands now, but at least when it happens again I know I can cope. We've all been there, done that, and got the T-Shirt. So thanks for being my Village, People. Thank You.

18 comments:

slouching mom said...

Awww. I feel your linky love.

Sleep doesn't seem so important until you are deprived of it, and then it seems like the most important thing there is.

Glad you got some. Umm, sleep, that is.

Now on to other pressing matters: how on earth are we going to wean your number one and my number two OFF of the white noise? I can easily envision Jack bringing his white noise machine to college. Nothing says nerd to the 18-year-old set quite like a noise machine, I'd bet...

NotSoSage said...

Oh, I missed an opportunity to give some advice, but I see that you did alright (gotta love the Village). Our little one was a white noise kid, too...vacuum, radio static, anything.

I'm glad that you got to relax last night, even if you didn't exactly catch up on sleep.

I think I'm going to write a journal article: Newflash! Marital relations improve when one or both partners are getting enough sleep!

Mimi said...

I'm with Sage on the sleep / marriage front. My husband is a right BOZO in the middle of the night. We had to have a Relationship Talk about middle of the night rights and responsibilities, because he is so dumb upon waking that we just can't talk at all at that point. Now, I'm in charge of telling him what to do, following a protocol of Breastaurant (ha!) first, Daddy second. Phew.

Glad it went better last night. Yay!

mamatulip said...

Sleep is totally overrated. I mean...who needs mind-altering drugs when you can just stay up all night and all day with a newborn?

Girl, I feel you. You know I do. I'm off to read your previous post now. I hate being behind the 8-ball.

metro mama said...

You're welcome!

neva said...

can i comment now and read this impossibly long post later? 'cuz i'm incredibly tired myself, and can't seem to focus on anything past "Thank You, Village Peop...."

glad you've finally got yourself a "well-adjusted sleeper", but don't get used to it. (sorry) and don't think you'll get any more rest when your kiddies grow up, because that ain't happenin'. (trust me, i know what i'm talkin' about... as evidenced by the larger than usual bags i'm sporting under my own sad eyes this very afternoon.) oy.

that said, i'm so hooked on "white noise" i actually pack a fan whenever i travel, just to ensure i'm able to sleep when i'm away from my home.

loveyamissyameanit, my friend! xox

Woman with kids said...

Hoorah! to a (almost) full night's sleep! And there is nothing wrong with white noise... black noise, gray noise... I have to have the TV on to fall asleep, so whatever color noise that is.

flutter said...

Aren't your friends amazing? Must mean you're pretty bad ass, too.

the new girl said...

I didn't get to comment last night but wanted to say that I'm glad that you're feeling better. My bebe is still on the inside--no sleeping issues yet.

I did, though, want to say a big 'hooray!' for your comments about parenting books in general. I could go on and on about how demoralizing and mindfucking they can be and it was great to see your thoughts on the matters...dog-eared copy of the sleep book notwithstanding...
:)

Mad Hatter said...

Baby steps, baby steps. Glad to hear that there were some silent ones.

Country Mouse said...

Congratulations on getting enough sleep to pull your eyes back into your head. Lovely feeling, isn't that?

doow said...

Don't I get no linky-love for having quite clearly read the post and then wandered off again without imparting any wisdom? That was probably because I didn't have any wisdom to impart. But I am happy to come and get drunk with you, should things go belly up again and you feel that the only answer is to turn to drink.

Elizabeth said...

I'm so glad the fan worked! It's quite addicting too-when we go on vacation, we either have to take a fan with us or try to borrow one from the hotel just so we can sleep.

"Breastaurant"-HA!

Kelly in Kansas said...

I certainly do NOT know how you do it all! Hang in there, before you know it the boys will be teenagers and you will be talking about the "good ole days" when they were babies. ;-)

Her Bad Mother said...

Because I am slacker blogger this week, and was distracted by death and such, which is no excuse, because I would have had the ass-kickingest advice, which is to TAKE DEEP BREATHS and REMEMBER THAT THIS TOO SHALL PASS and NYQUIL and BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY (soothers-whitenoise-thickenedbottles-lovies-cosleeping-tylenol-camomiliaextract), I am sorry.

But you were in good hands.

Dysd. Housewife said...

Speaking of white noise. For those of you that have ipods, there are a couple places where you can download various mp3s of whitenoise, that you can listen to on your podage for travel, instead of draggin a fan around with you. Then you just repeat the "song" in your settings, instant all night whitenoise! Otherwise I use my bathroom exhaust fan, the thing is loud as a turbine engine. YAWN.

Devra said...

When I saw the title of the post I started to worry that I would be expected to sing. My children always yell "No sing, Mom! No sing!" Except for in the kitchen, that is now the "official singing central" of our home. I can sing and dance as much as I want in there. At any rate, I'm glad the Village People helped you and I am also relieved I don't need to dress like a motorcycle cop.

Amanda said...

Oh sleep, old friend, how I long to meet you again. By twilight moon or brilliant afternoon sun, to catch a wink or two would be so sweet.

I am so grateful for th recent spate of posts by different people about the challenges (futility?) of sleep. You are all brilliant and witty and clearly devoted to your kids, so somehow it's all eased my own sense of resounding failure.

That said, I might take feeling like a well rested failure for a change.