3.18.2007

"Real Mothers" Meme Spawn

For BlogWhore and Mama Tulip

Real Mothers...

Find themselves googling search strings such as:
"nipples + itchy + searing pain + wimp" and (on a weekend) "thrush + homeopathic remedies"

Real Mothers closely examine the gruesome gallery of thrush nipple pictures available online and thereby stand for long periods in front of the bathroom mirror in vein attempt at visual self-diagnosis.

Real Mothers find themselves ransacking the cupboards for White Vinegar "they fucking knew they had..." for homeopathic remedy.

Real Mothers begin to fantasize about mystical healing powers of White Vinegar Boob Douche on a Sunday afternoon.

Real Mothers piss and moan about Nipple Itch and White Vinegar shortage to such excess that Male Partners are left with no choice but to go in search of Great White Vinegar, taking offspring along for the hunt.


Real Mothers, blogging about boob douches because, like, they haven't got anything better to do..

Part of the Real Mothers meme spawned by the evil Kristen at The Mom Trap--see the rules here and then break them, like me.
(I am supposed to include a picture. Uhm. I think I'll spare you...)

I tag:
HBM, Miscelleaneous Mum, Tere, Amanda, Slouching Mom

20 comments:

mamatulip said...

Oh GOD. Yes, Real Mothers fantasize about boob douches (Um, god, is there such a thing? I have never heard of that...but it sounds quite brilliant).

You poor thing. Quite a disadvantage of boob-feeding, isn't it?

Blog Antagonist said...

You have a yeast infection for sure?

Genetian violet will help, but honestly, the best thing you can do is get some Diflucan. Usually it will fix you up in one dose, but make sure that you and the baby are being treated simultaneously or you'll just continue to pass it back and forth.

(I used to be a practicing doula, in case your wondering why a complete stranger would offer you boob advice)

Best of luck. I know that pain and it's not good.

Lawyer Mama said...

OH god, OUCH! I know your pain. Diflucan worked for me, but we kept passing it back & forth until I started taking acidophilus daily. Presto, no more yeasties. Kept doing it the entire time I was breastfeeding "just in case". It's not an immediate fix, but it does help long term.

Elizabeth said...

"White Vinegar Boob Douche" is the best thing I have read all day. Sorry about the searing pain though, I hope you find a treatment that works SOON!

Mary G said...

Gentian violet -- works great, but baby will blow beautiful purple bubbles.

slouching mom said...

I'm sorry! I remember the boob pain all too well.

Thanks (I think -- all that linking is tiring!) for the tag. I tried to do it justice.

Bon said...

i think i'm grateful about the picture. i unfortunately have my own, snapped while i was strapped into ye olde mothafreaking hospital breastpump, nipples purple as pansies from the gentian violet. i'm actually in the background - it was intended to be a photo of sweet newborn in incubator, not a colourful fetish photo...dh wasn't paying attention.

what fixed the thrush up for us was Dr. Jack Newman's ointment, an odd concoction actually prescribed under that name and mixed up by my pharmacy. nearly as soothing as a boob douche, i must say.

good luck.

Miscellaneous-Mum said...

I think you mean me?! You linked to badladies twice...or am I deluding myself that I've actually been tagged for the first time ever...a virgin tag-ee.

I like this one. I shall have to think about it long and hard and do it justice

Miscellaneous-Mum said...

p.s I know where you're coming from on the whole boob thing. My difference is I've had to stare at gruesome galleries of excema pictures on google to compare it to my poor boy's :(

Fairly Odd Mother said...

I'm in the midst of weaning my last child, so thank you for reminding me of the tough parts of nursing. I was beginning to romantisize it as all beautiful and sweet. Hope you get you get some relief soon! Boob pain sucks!

Antonia said...

As a skint university student, I made fake labels to go on my food tins to discourage fridge-raiders from taking them. White Vinegar Boob Douche would have been perfect.

Hope the boobs stop hurting. That doesn't sound pleasant at all.

Tere said...

No, post a picture so everyone else can understand the awfulness!

Also, APNO. It saved my life.

Thanks for tag, will get right to it!

Paige said...

Sadly, this post brings back memories for me...

Her Bad Mother said...

Sore tits are hell. Real hell, like, sixth or seventh circle.

You have my heartfelt sympathies, and my promise to do the meme, and maybe flash my boobs. Cuz it's been way too long since I've done that.

karrie said...

Nystatin helped a bit, although sadly for us it was one of the straws...

Hope you're feeling less itchy!

Mimi said...

I shudder to imagine the google-hits this post will bring you.

:-)

Sounds like a fun weekend. Me? I wrestled with a do-it-yourself closet installation fiasco. Fun! Alas, no douches of any sort ...

Tere said...

Behold: http://tere-tere.blogspot.com/2007/03/real-moms.html

NotSoSage said...

Oh, goodness, thanks for sparing us. I've got a strong stomach, but I think it'll hit a little too close to home.

Good luck! I hope the girls are feeling better soon.

Amanda said...

I won't say it's exactly inspiring or earth shattering, but I finally finished the Real Mom meme.

Thanks for the tag. And thank you for the vinegar, my god the vinegar search was perfection.

karla said...

I'm here from The Wink. Hi!

Vinegar for Thrush. I wish I would have known. I went the gentian violet route, and ended up with purple nips. LOVELY.