12.07.2006

brought to you by the miracle of wireless

Now, if I could only do something about the uncanny ability of my newborn, preshus baby to uncannily detect when I get online and decide to promptly wake up...

(typing very quietly now....)

A few days ago I gave up. That sounds bad, and it's really not. What I gave up was thinking that I might actually get anything productive done during the sure-to-come long naps my son was sure-to-take. A couple of weeks back I reported that he was a sleeper. And he is. Except then the wretched "windy pops" (as my old mum likes to cheerfully refer to it) interfered with my plans. And by "windy pops" I mean unrelenting grimacing, burping, stomach gurgling and farting by my wee little chunk o' love, who is obviously not exactly rendered comfortable by the position. This means a lot of walking about, and soothing, and general motion to help him get back to sleep (which means I have broken golden rule #1 of the Baby Whisperer, "thou shalt not rock thy baby to sleep, or turn on vibrating baby seat, lest you create bad sleeping habits later on." whatever. I am now a firm believer that these first few months are a parenting style free-for-all. do what works. for now at least.)

But today and last night (mercy mercy) the wind ceased, and I can only come to the conclusion that my idle thought that "maybe I'll skip the milk products for a bit..." has some substance to it.

If they decided to crown the Dairy Queen, I'd be it. I love, love, love, the dairy products. I am not shy about downing milk straight from the gallon jug with real gusto (go on, try it--it takes some skill). I religiously have something nutritious and twiglike with milk poured over it in the mornings. Ice cream, milk shakes, malts.... sigh...

But mainly, my addiction to cheese would make Wallace look lactose intolerant.

Cheeeeeese. In all forms thankyouverymuch. Lately, I have become a connoseur of the cheesestick, thanks to my son's own love of them (Sargento far superior in my opinion. He prefers the Kraft twist, which is a packaging nightmare as far as I am concerned If mommy need scissors and teeth to open the wretched thing....).

But my real passion is for the good stuff they keep behind the high-quality deli counter. Chunks of aged cheddar. Aged Gouda. Aged anything emitted from a cow (or goat for that matter).

And 'tis the season! The season to whip up the parmesan and artichoke dip for that potluck. To whip up some cream for those lovely mince pies. To slather your bagel with lox and cream cheese. To cram stilton and port on top of your already crammed stomach as a civilized "after Christmas dinner custom..."

Yes, poor poor me. Deprived of my cheese. I wish I could say that my decision to give it up is purely for selfless reasons--for the good of my baby. Certainly, getting less broken nights would be beyond nice. But the thing keeping me going (and it's only been 24 hours, so give me time to backtrack completely) is that without all these pure chunks of saturated fat, I am sure to be sporting a tomboy flat stomach by, say, January.

Ha! Yeah. Right. Maybe my son will acquire an intolerance for bacon, salami, cake, and all refined carbs in general, and then we might be talkin'

For now, pass the chicken wings...

p.s. if anyone has any experience with this, feel free to dispense advice. Son is on about 1 or 2 bottles of formula a day, as well as breastmilk (nipple confusion, schnipple confusion...) Has anyone tried the soy or lactose free ones?

31 comments:

K said...

soy cheese is just not the same.

no not at all.

hope it gets better...

Dee Dee said...

I had to stay away from caffeine when I was nursing. That sucked.

Tina said...

I'll delurk to share a bit of my experience, since I was dairy free the year I nursed my son (and yes, you will lose weight--just be careful to not gain it all back when you go on your post-weaning Dairy Bing like I did). The lactose free cheese only subisituted when I SO NEEDED SOMETHING with cheese on it. BUt yeah, it's not the same. There is rice cheese out there, it was ok...still not very good, but it worked. 8th Continent Chocolate Soy Milk was the best tasting soy milk I found.

Anonymous said...

Oh, I'm glad you've thrown off the tyrannical yoke of the Baby Whisperer! I feel bad saying this, because she's dead, but that woman is evil.

And you're brave, trying the dairy-free diet! I never, ever tried it, no matter how bad things got, because if it weren't for dairy, I would starve. And if there's one time when you really don't want to starve, it's when you're a breastfeeding mother. I craved milk by the gallon when I was breastfeeding!

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Anonymous said...

Cheeeeeeeese! Love Wallace & Grommet - though I can't actually SPELL Grommet (guessing here.)

Thanks for your hilarious comment the other day... and tell your hubs I made the trip to the fancy store and things are just "going south" if you know what I mean!

Binkytown said...

I didn't try the soy ones but I found once I stopped drinking milk my little's gas problems almost stopped completly. I'd try that for a few days. I've heard the soy ones make them terribly constipated.

Anonymous said...

I had to give up chocolate. And it was not a selfless act... anything for more sleep.

I tried dairy first and only accidentally discovered chocolate because I didn't have a day go by in the first 8 weeks without it. When I did I noticed he was a lot happier. While I was off it, I discovered the world of desserts without chocolate and gained like 15 pounds. This was coupled with making myself miserable trying to follow any of the parenting books. At 10 months, we're still in the parenting style free-for-all and will probably remain in it until the kid's 20.

Recently (last Sunday I think), I posted about how I think those parenting books are really misogynist and if men were mothers there wouldn't be nearly so many of them.

I also love cheese... good luck!

Anonymous said...

Hmm, don't really have any advice about the dairy thing. But I would suggest you seriously think about cutting out the bottles of formula. Are you pumping at all when he's getting forula? I'm afraid you might be risking your supply. I had a hell of a time with supply issues with my second little guy.

mamatulip said...

Oh, I feel your pain. I really, really do. I practically gave up eating in an attempt to get Oliver to stop screaming and shitting water when he was an infant. I just cut all dairy out, I never bothered looking for an alternative. 'Course, I don't think I appreciate cheese as much as you do.

No advice, just wanted to tell you I FEEL FOR YOU.

neva said...

all i can say, my darling Joy, is that both my kids grew up on Similac in their formative years, since i was not a fan of "projectile vomiting" and/or "poo the size of my arm" coming out of my toddlers. call me crazy, but there it is.

how does this translate to you? well, i say your breasts are hot-wired to your gut, where the sour milk has been, no doubt, a'churnin'. you are wise to lay off the milk and/or cheese and/or ice cream (i know... life's a bitch -- and so is bad gas). when i switched over to soy milk for my beloved "triple grande SOY no-whip mochas", my stomach settled, and i was left with little more that a nice caffeine buzz. and it was good. seriously, as much as i love all things "dairy" (and i do, i really do) life has been much better and/or quieter and/or sweeter smelling without it!

that said, you can eat all the yogurt you like, since it's not digested in the same way all other dairy products are. doesn't that make you feel better? xox

sunshine scribe said...

I am a cheese addict ... we could seriously duel it out for the crown.

Same thing happened with my son (he still isn't great with dairy and drinks rice milk at 5). But I just about died cutting down my cheese while breastfeeding. I tried allll the substitutes ... nothing compares. Its like saying Carob tastes just like Chocoloate. I am feeling for you girl. Seriously. HOw's that for some cheering up. I should go now.

Big hugs.

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