6.21.2006

High Maintenance Gal Who Thinks She's Low Maintenance Gal...

So, in a couple of days the Fam and I are "goin' on our 'olidays..." 10 days of no work, no pressure, no internets, no t.v. (no fucking T.V.?? what are you INSANE???) Ok, lied about the T.V. part. I'm no masochist, ber-lieve me. However, the no internets part is true, so no posts. Try not to cry. Seriously...

Right now excited anticipation on my part is escalating. This translates into writing copious "to do" lists for getting things in shape at work before I take off, and then promptly ignoring them to obsessively check weather.com and tourism sites for our featured destination. Or just "pop by" a few blogs. Because I just can't focus... I am SO psyched.

And therein lies the rub. For me, the anticipation over an upcoming event often far outweighs the pleasure of actually participating (indeed, as I told you before, I never actually made it to one of my primary school's Christmas Parties because without fail I worked myself up into such excitement that I threw up each year and had to go home...) I still definitely have this trait (with the nausea now tempered by delicious alchohol)... Excitability...

I am excited to go on vacation, but in the past few years I have recognized a trait in me inherited from my mother--an inability to relax once getting to the Relaxation-Destination... I like to think of myself as a pretty low-maintenance lassy. I go with the flow, can see the funny side of anything, rarely take offense, and am generally well-grounded and happy-go-lucky.. (Puke. Julie-Effing-Andrews eat your heart out...)

However, beneath the happy-go-lucky exterior a stressed out control-freak can at times be eager to break free. Vacation is one of those times when my evil twin emerges.... To quote When Harry Met Sally (shuddup) I am the worse type of control-freak--I think I am Low Maintenance, but I am actually High Maintenance... At least when a weekend in a cottage on a lake with nothing to do but relax and have a good time is concerned.

So, the reason I write this is to confront the demon within so it does not happen this time, and to ask for any advice that's going. Does anyone else suffer from this affliction? Find that they are sitting on the beach feeling ancy, or pouring through tourist brochures or over maps planning your day.... Being generally snappish and notverynicereally? It's not really something I can put my finger on, but I really hate it. (oh, and the hubs DIGS it bigtime). And this time tequila shots are not an option to get in the holiday spirit. (Dagnabit...)

Feel free to dispense all kinds of preachy advice or share tips--I need it.

20 comments:

Motherhood Uncensored said...

Yeah. Too bad on the tequila. It's a must with all familiy visits.

I have no advice. Just try to enjoy yourself. Imagine life with 2 munchkins running around. Maybe that will help you relax. heh.

neva said...

lolling about... soaking up the sun... nothing to do *but* relax... and this is a problem?? here's what you do, you get yerself a book, missy. a good book. a big book. a great big fucking-boring-but-fucking-good book. and snack food. then sit back, and tell hubby to wake you up when it's time to go home.

there. my work is done here. call me if there's anything else ya need. or check out my new website (for people who can't relax) at www.howtobeboringonavacation.com. (i'm afraid i'm very good at this... yeesh!)

Kevin Charnas said...

I really hope that you relax and have a great time. I know what you mean about the anticipation part...but I'm still laughing my ass off that you got so worked-up over the Christmas parties that you couldn't go to them because you were puking!!!

The Sheriff said...

Everyone seems to be going on their holidays - it is quite simply unfair. Hope you have a hoot on your jollies. When Harry Met Sally was on TV last night strangely enough.

Jenny said...

Yep. I feel your pain. i threw up every birthday because of anticipation. Yick.

I say a pinch of wine is fine in cases like this. Or you could do what I do and pop a few lexapro pills. (Sorry - I have the most disfunctional advice ever.)

Joel said...

As Neva will attest...it takes me two to three days into the vacation to actually start relaxing. Unfortunately, I usually reach the "relaxation apex" just in time to go home. Of course, since we haven't really been on a vacation in, well let me think, oh yeah, forever...I guess the point is moot?

Her Bad Mother said...

Can't offer advice here, because I AM EXACTLY THE SAME. I overfunction in all situations, and vacations are no exception. And without the tequila option, I have no answers.

Sorry. Now must gow fret about *underfunctioning* with this comment...

toyfoto said...

Our vacations usually are with the in-laws, so not a lot of relaxation going on there. (I love my MIL, and we get along great, but I'm still on my best behavior). So ... Perhaps you can think of me, relaxing while trying to to spill anything, swear or tell nasty jokes for a week at the beach. That might make you feel better.

bubandpie said...

I'm the same way whenever there is any kind of sighseeing component - MUST. SEE. ALL. ATTRACTIONS. TODAY. At a cottage or the beach, though, where there's actually nothing to do, I can relax a little more. Used to be able to relax a little more. Now am more likely to spend day preventing the children from eating sand.

ozma said...

Hiya Joy--

I agree about the book. You need something really gripping or something you can't put down. If you've never read David Sedaris's Naked I highly recommend that. I remember it got me into vacay mode since I was laughing so hard I couldn't breath. Lack of oxygen=cheap high.

I've heard Running With Scissors is also funny but I haven't read it. I'd stick to funny. Funny works for those forced relaxation moments. But if you need to do fake work during your vacation then you can always read George Eliot or Tolstoy. They are both gripping and yet take some effort. Or--something of that sort.

Then keep a notebook by your side and take notes on the reading if you really want to go overboard and both relax and fake work at the same time.

Have fun, you BEYOOTIFUL thing! (I'm reading up on you.) Gosh, now that I think about it my last pregnancy was the last time I was bee-yoo-tee-ful.

(Had to sneak a peek at you even before my self imposed internet hiatus runs out.)

Ele said...

I think it's something about having different people pulling in different directions on the scale of 'lie on the beach and do nothing' to 'view temples constantly' that adds teh stress factor to holidays; the Bowden clan proudly spout about how well they all get on and how well adjusted as a family unit they are (despite feminist daughter and heavily patriarchal structure headed by dominant father). But tomorrow we leave the house at about 10a.m. to go to Korea (to see the Bruv); me and my jolly parents arrive 36 hours later. I think that somehow this travelling time is going to tug on the family-love-bond and overstress it somehow... By the way, found out today that I got a 2.1 in my degree - all the more joyous because I got a higher degree score than both my parents and my sibling! Though we all get on exceedingly well, and I'd never taunt them about it. (HA!)

lildb said...

yeah. I'm the same kinda animal. dunno - I just end up pacing and being a general pain in the arse for all others present. the only thing that smooths me out is a book. well, and the alcohol.

I can only reassure you that time seems to go by at a screaming rate, lately, and maybe it's the same for you, in which case, you should be back in a flash. ?

xo

Mocha said...

We shall all have some tequila and think of you. Since it tends to rip through my innards and come out the other side as foul gas, I'll think of you when it goes in. Not out.

Advice? Someone is ASKING for advice? Oh, my. I don't think I can contain myself! This is too much! I think I piddled a little just now!

Sorry. I'm out of advice on that topic because I'm HM and I know I'm HM and never pretend. So, I guess I'll tell you to embrace it. Go with it. Love it. Become it.

If all else fails, go with the "I've-lost-my-non-pregnant-brain" thing and return to normal next year when you CAN drink tequila.

Hope you have an ab fab time.

virtualsprite said...

Well... I can't say that I have that problem, but I used to be married to someone who did. Drinking helped, but that's out...

I think I would agree with ozma... David Sedaris is v. good and v. relaxing. Laugh until you wet yourself good.

neva said...

Sedaris is fabulous, but, ya know, Joy... another book worth considering is "Straight Man" by Richard Russo. i don't know a single person in academia who doesn't find it hysterical. (so much so, in fact, my brother-in-law bought copies for every prof he worked with and/or knew!) it's a great tongue-in-cheek 'slice of college life' read! : D

Nancy said...

I can be a real pain in the ass on vacation, too -- especially an extended family vacation, when sometimes I just get really snarky with my parents and other family members. (Bad but true). I think it's because you want vacation to be *perfect* because you plan for it and pack all your best vacation clothes, and you want every day to be nice weather and relaxing -- hey, with all that stress, it's likely to make you explode at least once! (or it does me...)

Is there anything to do for stress release, like long walks? Maybe if you got some solo time to take off and do some active, touristy things or shop?

Good luck, hope you have fun and take care!

Stefanie said...

Unfortunately I am just like you. but I also find that alcohol helps. I try to not feel guilty about anything. Like if I forget to pack the toothbrush instead of getting all "DAMMIT, I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THE TOOTHBRUSH! I'M SO DUMB" I just spend the 80 bucks on a new one in the hotel gift shop and chalk it up to souveniers! Okay, and did I mention lots of drinking. Start early. Start now in fact.

Izzy said...

Hope you're having a great time :)

Jozet said...

"I think I am Low Maintenance, but I am actually High Maintenance... "

LOL! Yup...that's me.

Hope your holiday is somewhat relaxing. If not, I hope your vacation is. ;-)

Kyahgirl said...

Have a great time you big orange control freak!! :-)

I have a girlfriend with the same excitment/vomiting issue. Its tough.