5.05.2006

Note to "Mature Slut" Self....

It's only 11am, and so far today's events have confirmed that the "*spamments" I have been receiving that invite me to "network" with some Mature Sluts or Blonde MILFs--well, they might be onto something.

NOTE TO SELF
Before deciding to go "Casual Friday" for a day at the office, first check one's calendar for potential meetings with clients and grant partners before opting to don one's Stitch N' Bitch t-shirt, jeans-with-frequent-propensity-to-come-unzipped, and sneakers....

Even the savvy hubs questioned whether I should be so "in your face" with the BITCH t-shirt for work this morning, "s'OK," I replied. "Got no meetings, an' it's Friday"

SO. Just spent a delightful hour with a fellow Brit to discuss partnering on a big-money project for something involving fly mutation images... (and you thought my job wasn't glamorous). It was my task to convince this guy that we're the ones to partner with due to proven track record in...blah blah blah. Not so easy to do with a big ole BITCH on your t-shirt. But, by gum, I managed it. Even with the additional faux pas of asking the guy which graduate program he was in (because he looked about 12 to me) and being told "Uhm. Actually, I'm faculty..." I managed to clinch that goddamn fly mutation contract. Ha! I need to be careful, because the power is going to my head.

But I've apparently got another meeting with faculty partner types this afternoon, and am weighing options in wardrobe department here at work (i.e. garments sitting on the coat rack that have been there for 4 years and no one claims to own).
Choice 1: beige, oversized cardigan with attractive grossly mis-shapen shoulders where wire hanger cuts in. (nothing says professionalism like a mishapen granny cardi)
Choice 2: U Marching Band varsity jacket. (sizzlin')
Choice 3: Wear own trench. ("No, no, I'm just a little chilled" [cough])
Choice 4: Big ole BITCH t-shirt. (enough said)

NOTE TO SELF (2)
Weigh options carefully, especially as you soon planned to go to Boss with "why I am invaluable, deeply professional employee, and how I conduct work commensurate with male colleagues in department, and why I need a substantial pay raise forthwith." Is BITCH t-shirt best option?


*"spamments" coined courtesy of neva. clever lady.

Note about spamments. I should probably turn on word verification, but am I the only one who finds having to reproduce one of those word-verification thingies disturbingly challenging at times? Yes, yes, i know i need to go typepad...

20 comments:

doow said...

I'd go with the Bitch t-shirt every time. It will lend a whole "or I'll stab you in the eye with my knitting needle" kinda vibe to the pay rise discussion.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... That's a tough one. Did I miss who the clients were?

And did you know sweetney.com was an MSUer? I just read that - at least she taught there.

Okay. moving on. stay with the shirt.

Anonymous said...

That was me... (Motherhood Uncensored) - blogger was being my little bitch. And obviously, it whipped my ass.

Mom101 said...

Eh, just tell the guy it's bitch the verb. As in kvetch. Complain. Not as in, you'd better give me that promotion/raise three-day work week I'm asking for or I'll kick your pussy little ass.

On second thought, stick with bitch the noun. It might work for you.

zeldafitz said...

Oooooooooooo, the revelry that is casual Friday, how I love it.

I figure as long as you're not wearing the lousy puce green shirt I end up in every Friday (please see clever turquoise jewelry accents) you are looking HOT.

As FOR those macular degeneration inducing comment "verifiers" I scorn them deeply. They challenge not only my eyesight, but they make me think of math and other quantum indecipherables.

nancycle said...

You have a funny blog. :)

mama_tulip said...

Tell 'em how you really feel -- bitch shirt all the way.

And I always screw up the word verifications. Takes me, on average, three tries. Makes me feel all I-just-smoked-some-killer-weed kinda stupid.

neva said...

i totally agree with everyone else here: personally, if one of my employees (back when i was working and actually had a few) came in demanding more money while wearing a BITCH tee-shirt? i would so be giving her a raise!

thanks for the credit on spamment... i think it's gonna catch on! (of course, i haven't been visited by aforementioned "blonde-milf11", so i've yet to have an excuse to use it, myself!) as for those word verifiers? i'm grateful you don't have one...grateful, i tell you, GRATEFUL!! i totally understand the need, but there are days when my eyes are very pissed off at those things... just enough to not leave comments! (typepad is pretty good, but sometimes they'll arbitrarily throw a verifier in for the hell of it!) unless you start gettin' "spamments" out the wazoo (wherever that is...) i hope you'll keep the "word verifier" turned off!

hope ya have a glorious weekend, joy! : D

lildb said...

Hee-hee. it's a funny story, even if it *is* frustrating to be stuck with those (non) options. I concur with everyone else; the bitch tee is gonna have to step up and prove itself today. and congratulations on getting the fly mutation gig - don't underestimate the power of you squared with the power of the s-n-b.

ozma said...

I think the Bitch shirt is like subliminal messaging. Besides saying "do you really want to mess with me. Well? DO YA?" It also says "I'm not afraid of you. I am so fabulous I can do whatever the hell I want."

sunshine scribe said...

Definately Bitch t-shirt. I covet it - could have come in handy at my workplace yesterday actually!!!

Mocha said...

How could you leave this option up to ME? HOW? Because you *know* (insert a little snap and a rolling neck movement here because I can soooooo do that thang) I'm going with anything inappropriate.

Which reminds me, I'm going to post a picture of my precious baby girl wearing that inappropriate shirt I mentioned a while back that you seemed to like. Mommy's so proud!

LOVE the "spamments" word. Are they listening over at Urban Dictionary.com?

Just do the word verification. You know you want to and NOT feel left out...

Her Bad Mother said...

You knew that you didn't have to ask, didn't you? Bitch tee or cardy? Bitch tee or cardy? Hmm... Whatever will the go-sistah moms choose?

So I'm going to go against the flow here and say cardy. BUT only if you wear it with a card-carrying-mature-slut denim miniskirt and heels with no stockings.

Oh, and the Bitch tee underneath. (go sistah.)

Joel said...

I'm thinking nothing says confident, self-assured, out of box thinker like a stitch & bitch t-shirt. A real conversation starter...ice breaker. Having said that...a casual sports jacket left hanging at work might not be a bad thing

Suburban Turmoil said...

It's my first time to your blog- I keep hearing your name pop up and you're hilarious, woman!

I kept waiting for your fly to come unzipped...

sweatpantsmom said...

I say take a nice fat Sharpie and write in, "I'm Your" in place of "Stitch N'"

That oughta get him on your good side.

(Or, maybe not listen to me since I haven't worked in an office for awhile.)

Elizabeth said...

EVERY office I have ever worked in has had an oversized, misshapen beige cardigan hanging on the office coat rack, and it never seems to actually belong to anyone. Are they standard office decor or what?

And what's wrong with the MSU Marching Band jacket? Especially with one of those jaunty visored caps. It could be quite a look.

Jess Riley said...

"Uhm. Actually, I'm faculty." Ha!!

I am impressed with your negotiating skills, even in a Stitch n' Bitch shirt! You are awesome.

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