5.25.2006

knitted bikinis on knitted dogs. YEAH!


My Stitch'n Bitchez and I have been snorting over this kitsch knits site for a large part of the day. Among our favorites:



Look at the motherf&**ing CAT. (stuffed?)
and the *$%%^ing DOG! The dog....
and the serial-killer/ventriloqist SPOUSE ("i can seak wi-out novin' ny nouth... u cretty lady. i touch your hair. acrylic nake ne 'xited").

my friend intends to use this concept for her 2006 Christmas Cards. that b'yatch thinks of everything first...

Item 2:

this one's got a nice set of KNOCKER (nice belt accent). i don't even know what to say about this one.... did any one EVER knit it?

Item 3:

See that? That's my boyfriend that is....

For more "my eyes, oh my eyes" experiences, check out the full Museum of Kitschy Knits at Stitchy McYarnPants. they funny.

26 comments:

Mocha said...

Oh! Can you see it? How about that belted dress with "Leper Whores" stitched in it somewhere?

Dear me. Does that model look back on those days and think, "Hey. Who drugged me?"

Hilarious pictures. Better than I could have hoped for.

Mega Mom said...

I can't knit to save my life, but I loved the site.

I'd also love me some of those bikini dogs.

Get crackin' :)

mama_tulip said...

The dog in the second pic looks so pissed. Like, "Get this goddamn pom-pom hat off of me" kind of pissed.

The Sheriff said...

I don't think I have ever seen a more suave individual than the guy in the last picture.

doow said...

If I don't get to see you in a knitted maternity dress - with belt detail! - then I shall be forced to pout.

neva said...

what, no monkeys?

great link! can we ever be exposed to enough knitted kitch? i don't think so... oooh and your "boyfriend" is so pretty! i'm thinking the love of your life would look mighty handsome in a sweater like that (especially if he had a knit cap like Noddy's to wear, as well...) hee hee!

macboudica said...

This reminds me of a crazy great aunt of my hubz who had a fetish(?) for crocheting anatomically correct stuffed dolls. She had these crocheted dolls everywhere in her house. The anatomicallly correctness of them was only discovered after she died--I forget the details, the discovery was accidental--something about one of her sisters taking a doll for a grandchild and checking to see if the clothes were removable only to discover the "parts". I wonder where she got the pattern?

mothergoosemouse said...

Oh my god are those funny. I will definitely check out the site and e-mail the link to my mother (who used to knit beautifully but obsessively).

virtualredhead said...

Hey, we can all have that Christmas card. Maybe we could do a Westside extravaganza!! Or knit the props at SNB then rent them out for a fundraiser. heh...

Tori said...

Love the knits!
Promise you'll knit a dress like that one and photograph the evidence.
It's a winner!
Nothing better either than a man in a knitted cardy - belted no less...

lildb said...

Dammit. I used to have some grooovy knitting how-to books, complete with sick-ass photos, from the sixties - they were my mom's (there were *loads* of hottt guys you would've struggled to resist - futilely, of course). I (groan) gave 'em away.

I wish I still had 'em, so I could give 'em to you. You'd totally be cooler than your groovy mcgroovepants friend, then.

Dammit.

Mom101 said...

send them to mod*mom!

Izzy said...

The bikini dogs rock..almost as much as that cat in the hat.

But scarf and sweater guy....mmmm baby! I love the Warren Beatty 70's look!

Kevin Charnas said...

AAAHHH!!!GREAT, JUST GREAT! That's some fucked up shit right there! I can see why you were snorting all day over the dog attire...what the H E double toothpick?? And that family...THAT FAMILY. That cat has GOT to be stuffed...or sedated. And if not, you know that he's pissed as hell...sitting there like, "I can't believe you stupid assholes."

Elizabeth said...

The Stitchy McYarnPants site reminds of of Lilek's Gallery of Regrettable Food. Although her photos inside the American History Museum were pretty cool-I love Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas!

It's really too bad that belted knit cardigans have gone out of fashion for the men of today. And jaunty scarves tied around the neck. Sure beats a t-shirt they've owned since High School.

shannon said...

Oh dear lord, that second one killed me. I would really really be excited to be invited to their house for a festive party of some kind where 80 people and a herd of animals are dressed in the same knitted items. That would be swell.

Jozet said...

LOL! I'm diggin' that dress!

Now, if only someone could knit me one in a maternity size.

Jenny said...

Ok, those were all great but the cat put it over the top. The look on his face? Priceless. Thanks for the laugh!

Jenny said...

Ok, those were all great but the cat put it over the top. The look on his face? Priceless. Thanks for the laugh!

Joel said...

On this mid 80's somewhat humid day just the thought of wearing anything knitted makes me sweat...the knitted dogs are cute though.

sween said...

The thought that I was born into that era... is truly frightening.

And that guy really is the suavest man on the planet -- all the more so as he manages to look suave while wearing that... thing. God bless Suaveman.

Suburban Turmoil said...

I love it! And I've gotta get my husband one of those fancy silk scarves to tie around his neck!

Her Bad Mother said...

This post - and the accompanying pictures - made me hot.

themikestand said...

Oh dear god, I think I peed a little reading your commentary on the family portrait. *sigh*

Also, 3 day syndrome on saturday's (rare!) ab-workout means I've been squealing quietly in my cube whilst reading this entry (ow! hee! owwiee!). I'll blame you when they install security cameras to find out what's going on within the confines of my upholstered "office".

themikestand said...

*snicker* just had to tell you I'm still reading that entry, and still giggling.

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