"could do better if she applied herself"--the recurrent theme on my term report cards from school. along with, "has a tendency to distract others with chatter" and "can be a bit of a fuss-pot..."
this is all by way of saying that i am about to post something flimsy. you will note a trend in this blog, dear readers, whereby in moments when i can't summon up the creative energy to write about something at any length, i will fall back on my old mainstay "being english..." the rhubarb post below--that was a prime example.
and i must confess to being a little sheepish about this, because although i am happy to exploit the "limey tart" aspect of my identity at times, the last thing i want to be is that pretentious b'yatch who insists on her britishness as a means to lord it over everyone. and for this reason, though i did once say "tom-AH-to" i now say "tom-AY-to."
i had an interesting schitzophrenic experience this weekend.
people often to say to me "joy, don't you find it ironic that MADONNA moved from michigan, acquired a fake british accent, and lives in a country manor house like Lady Muck, and YOU moved from england to michigan, and now saying "trash can" and "dumbfuck" and "freakin' asshole" with the best of michiganians. yes. it's uncanny, i know.
anyway, i watched her being interviewed on Parkinson this weekend on BBC America, and DEAR LORD that woman has got the most off-putting accent i have ever heard these days. i mean she's only lived there for about 5 or 6 years right? how could she have possibly have assimilated in that time? and more disturbing, i felt myself bristle when she bashed michigan.... and this, of course, means that i am assimilated as a midwesterner. and i am cool with that. but please, people who know me, if i start to pull fake british shit for effect too much--please bludgeon me.
having said that, i now invite you to view brit comic/drag queen Eddie Izzard pontificate on the american usage of the term "Awesome" or as my young english relatives would imitate it "Orrr-some"
(click on "Awesome" on this page)
Update: I feel must acknowledge the fair words of my cousin Ele (anon in comments) and give props to Madonna for infusing us with (at times) much-needed infectious pop. I do indeed like to groove down a little to many a Maddona tune, and if you check out my "about me" ramblings, Madonna, in her own warped way had something to do with my feminist leanings in the early nineties. (please do not judge me--judge early nineties "I'm, like, in charge of my sexuality" new-wave postfeminism, k?) Now my cousin, at the same tender age, can also celebrate Madonna, or at least the notion that you can gyrate in a leotard and aviators at 40+ and not "look like a tit..." It makes me feel all fuzzy inside
Oh, and thanks for OUTING me Ele (tsk).