4.18.2006

and this is why i need to make the "follow-up" appointment at the hair salon

if yoko ono....


and carrot top....



were to sire a love child (and let's just ruminate on that one for a bit shall we?).

gingajoy would be her name. and lo, her hair would be big, unruly, and carrot-ono like in its bushy bigness. and not in a wow, "i have untamed luxuriant preraphaelite locks right now," but in a "i can't even drag a comb through this matted orangey fuzz right now..." there is only so much "for dry, color treated, frizzed out and a bit stringy" hair restorative product one can buy.

this is what happens when i decide to "grow my hair out." this is, i must remember, simply code for "i do intend to go to the salon for 6-9 months because i am too lazy." whereupon i see a photograph of myself and realize that the long and flowing locks i yearn for are in fact beginning to look dangerously mennenite. and stringy.

18 comments:

Villa said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
zeldafitz said...

W-O-W-Apalooza, those are two people I super don't want to think about fornicatin'!

I hear ya on the hair debacle. Those "flowing" locks so idealized by all us femnazis always end up being a scraggly mass.

I think it has something to do with not having a personal stylist. Or something.

Have you found that pregnancy changes your hair?? Mine went from very curly to limp and noodly. Hmph.

Kristen said...

Ahahaha That is tooooo freaking funny. I'm headed to someone on Thursday. I haven't gotten my hair cut in Mississippi (well at least a good one) EVER. So, here's hoping I don't look like your evil twin sister :)

Mega Mom said...

I think it sounds kinda nice. Be a dear and post a picture, would you?

Mocha said...

Oh, sister in the club right here!

I always want those sexy flowing locks and it just looks like a hot mess. Like birds could nest there. Like dinosaur dung. Like I could hide a car underneath my bangs. It's sad.

There's a club handshake, right?

weaker vessel said...

JOY! If you have frizzy hair, I heartily recommend the TIGI Catwalk Curls Rock system. Shamp, cond, leave-in cond, and amplifier. Seriously, it's wondrous.

ozma said...

You are funny. I love the idea of Yoko/Curlytop lovechild hair.

When I was a kid, I used to get a big dreadlock at the nape of my neck and my solution was always to hack the thing off. One day I discovered that taking a brush with lots of bristles (not a spiky brush) and brushing that dreadlock for several hours would also get rid of it. Of course, I'd have enough hair in the brush at the end to knit myself a sweater.

I'd love to see a picture of your locks! I hope that pregnancy does cool things to your hair--it was better than any conditioner, for me at least.

Mom101 said...

One thought: Tourmaline t3 flat iron. My savior. My God. I worship at its altar.

Chaotic Mom said...

ARGH! My hair is SO BORING compared to yours! At least yours has life. Mine collapsed a few years ago, is just limping along sadly now... ;)

sunshine scribe said...

Okay now I am going to have to get the image of those two fornicating out of my head!!

I too have frizzy hair with a mind of its own and it only got worse after baby!

neva said...

i'm loving ojon products these days...

i'm also loving the image of yoko ono and carrot top's "love child"! kinky (and i mean that in the best way!)

kerastase makes fabulous hair products, too... don't let a few ragged curls make you give up on your dream, girlfriend! seriously... : )

weaker vessel said...

Also, would the Yokarrotop mutant hybrid always inexplicably wear both mascara AND big aviator sunglasses?

sweatpantsmom said...

You know, that pic of Carrot Top and Regis side-by-side has really freaked me out.

I won't be able to sleep now. Thanks a lot.

(But nice to see they were able to get matching foundation.)

Elizabeth said...

So now I'll be walking around West Lansing looking for the pregnant love-child of Yoko and Carrot Top? Well you should be easy to spot then! ;)

My hair is so completely different now that I've had 3 kids. All the blonde is gone and I'm now dark brown, and it went from thick and wstraight to thin and wavy. Go figure.

Her Bad Mother said...

Dude, you have to post a picture. You have to. Even from the back. We won't laugh. We all feel your pain. Really.

And what mom101 said? Good advice.

gingajoy said...

a picture?? a picture?? this would require me actually allowing a photo to be taken of this mess. i am going to the salon this afternoon. and rest assured, any picture of me that makes its way onto this blog will be painstakingly selected for the sake of pure and utter vanity;-)

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