3.20.2006

whiplash

my day yesterday had two (maybe three) defining moments.

the first, i went to go and hear this guy speak about his experiences on robben island, where he was jailed for 25 fricking years with nelson mandela.

amazing speech, obviously, and i was especially moved when he said that the thing that made life the most empty was the lack of children. to be forced to not see or hold a child in 25 years is a form of emotional brutality he could not express. gulp... (shoot oprah-style to pasty white chick in audience who is discretely dabbing her eyes, and thinking "isn't anyone else blubbing here?" same white chick is also looking sidelong at the various preschool aged children seated quietly in the audience, and thinking "good grief. how do parents raise such well-behaved and culturally sophisticated toddlers?" and then, as kids begin to noisily act up, "i know it's wrong, but that makes me feel much better....")


the second [and if you are married to me, or have dined in my home, you perhaps might want to leave off here]: peeling carrots in the kitchen, solo, and realizing that the dog liked the peelings. after delicately scooping a few peels from the sink into her bowl, i proceed to grate the carrots directly on the kitchen floor with dog acting as canine-hoover. for some reason, it felt so wrong...

Update: this just in via AIM:
[13:05] love-of-my-life: you actually peeled carrots directly onto the floor?!
[13:06] me: uhm
[13:06] me: no
[13:06] me: i mean
[13:06] me: yes
[13:07] love-of-my-life: why not just start shitting on the lawn and calling it fertilizer?

sigh... sometimes he just up and reminds me of why i married him all those years ago....

8 comments:

doow said...

I have a tendency to accidentally drop ingredients on the floor as I prepare food and I always call out "one for the dog". It's just a shame we don't have a dog.

Bella Sultane said...

This is *exactly* the reason that I want to have a dog!

sween said...

Oh sweet jeebus that is brilliant.

However, cats are picky and will leave what they don't want on the floor.

Along with a well-calligraphied grocery list of which items they would prefer in the future.

Mega Mom said...

I just call my 2 year old. He eats anything.

weaker vessel said...

Maternal schadenfreude AND surreptitious sloth in the kitchen in one day? Though it pains me greatly to say it, I think that you may be as incorrigibly, inherently evil as me.

Mom101 said...

my dog loves carrots. also iceberg lettuce. she has the vegetable tastes of a six-year old.

Jenn said...

Oh oh oh I think we are married to the same guy. The AIM exchange is all too familiar...

Um, and we have the same dogs.

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